Tuesday, June 23, 2015


Introducing www.wakingeros.com 2.0...

All my writing will now be continuing over there... 
Please come join me.


Sunday, February 1, 2015

Divining the Masculine - Part 2 - The Lover

The phallus, penis, cock, dick, member, pecker, prick, putz, tool, shaft, johnson, schlong, woody, manhood has always stood as a sexual symbol and the symbol of life-force itself.  There are many stories and beliefs from ancient human history which say that blood is the carrier of spirit, energy, the soul and when the blood entered into the penis and made it erect, it was incarnating spirit into flesh. This resulted in the union of human life and the holy, of the cosmos and God and was always creative and energizing. With this different perception of life... new forms and new combinations of opportunities and possibilities were born.

How many forms and types of love are out there? The Greeks talked about "agape", a non-erotic love and what the Bible calls "brotherly love." The Greek God of Love, Eros, was also talked about in both a limiting sense of a phallic or sexual love and in the more precise modern day definition of an expansive sense of love as the bonding and uniting urge of all things. The Romans also had a God of love, Amor, or Cupid as we know of today, which was defined as the complete union of one body and soul with another. These forms of love, along with others are the living expression of the Lover energy in human life.

The Lover is the archetype of the display of healthy embodiment and being in one's sensuous pleasure and in one's own body without shame. The Lover is deeply sensually aware and sensitive to his physical surroundings in all its splendor and is connected to them all, drawn into them through his sensitivity. His sensitivity leads him to feel integrated, compassionately and empathetically with them. For the man accessing the Lover. all things are connected to each other in the most mysterious ways.

A man feeling the impact of the Lover wants to feel everything, physically and emotionally, and wants to be impacted by everything. He recognizes that everything is connected and thrives on the connectedness he feels with the interior world and in the exterior world with his powerful feelings of his relationships with other people. Ultimately, he wants to experience the entire spectrum of sensual experience in everything. Not only should the lover a symbol of the joy of life in his capacity to feel at one with others and the world. He must also feel all of their pain. Other's may be able to avoid pain, but the man in touch with his "Lover" must endure it as he feels the pain and suffering of being alive-both for himself and for others.

There is a shadow and dark side of the "Lover". A man who is caught in the shadows of the lover will be caught in destructive habits and patterns of not putting any limits on his sensual and sexual experiences in this vast universe that we live in.  The addicted Lover says, "The universe holds a never-ending supply of pleasures, why should I limit my access to it?".  He becomes a victim to his own sensitivities and becomes enmeshed into the sensations.

We can get caught in the fire of loving, immersed in the misery and the joy of our own cravings that we become unable to step back and act from a distance, unable to come back to ourselves, to detach and observe our feelings from a distance. Many lives and relationships are ruined because people cannot distance themselves from damaging partnerships and relationships. Whenever we feel ourselves caught in an addictive relationship, we had better beware, because the chances are very good that we have become victims of the Shadow Lover. A man possessed by the addicted Lover is really a man possessed by his own personal unconscious and the collective unconscious. He is devastated.

The addict as shadow of the lover is a byproduct from childhood into adulthood.  The child became absorbed into the Mother and is still within the Mother, and is struggling to get out. It has become so
painful that in order to break free he must destroy the alluring and enchanting "feminine" beauty that is keeping him from experiencing his manhood. This need to detach from and to contain the power of the "feminine'' may also account for our masculine sexual perversions, especially those perversions that show up in unhealthy sexual activity and in the violent sexual humiliation of women.

In the shadow of the lover, men will learn the advantage of boundaries the most difficult way. He will learn that his lack of mature masculine formation, lack of discipline, his resulting infidelities, and his authority issues will surely get him into trouble. He will be fired from his jobs, and the women in his life who loves him dearly will eventually leave him.

What happens when we feel that we are out of touch with the mature masculine Lover in all his fullness? We are then possessed by the powerless lover. We will be living our lives in an asleep kind of way. We will "feel" have a lack of enthusiasm, and be missing the aliveness for life. We may have trouble getting up in the morning and trouble going to sleep at night. We may find ourselves increasingly isolated, alienated from our family, our co-workers, our friends, our lovers and our own desires.

Men who are habitually possessed by the powerless lover are consistently depressed. They feel a lack of connection with others and are cut off from themselves. When we ask what they are feeling, they will have absolutely no idea... He may say, "I don't know. I just feel I'm in this cloud." This often happens when the powerless lover is getting so close to really ''hot" material. What happens, is that a shield goes up between the conscious Ego and his feeling.

When we are allowing the fullness of the Lover into our lives, and keeping our Ego structures
in tact, we feel connected, alive, compassionate, empathic, energized. and romantic about ourselves, our intentions, our purpose, and our successes. It is the Lover, properly accessed, that gives us a sense of meaning-a connection to spirit. The Lover is the source of our longings for a better world for ourselves and others. "I have come to bring you a passion for living, that you might access it more generously."

The Lover maintains his access to feeling the real life situations of our fellow human beings struggling in a difficult world. Our negative self talk, degrading our vitality and our "innate goodness" begins early in our lives. Many of us may have so repressed the Lover in us that it has become very hard for us to feel passionate about anything in our lives. The trouble with most of us is not that we feel too much passion, but that we don't allow ourselves to feel our passion much at all. We push away our feelings of joy. We don't feel able to be alive and to live our lives the way we wanted to live them the way we imagined them being from the start. We may even think that "feelings" and, in particular, our feelings, are annoying obstructions and wrong for a man. We CANNOT surrender our lives... we need to live our lives more abundantly and, only then, will we be able to empower others to live fully, perhaps for the first time in their lives.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Divining the Masculine - Part 1 - The Disappearance of Masculine Ritual Processes

Recently, I have experienced friendly and intense discussions with clients and close friends about "divining the masculine" and what that might mean.  With all the talk out there about women coming into their "divine feminine" power and sexuality which is so incredibly beautiful and crucial to the evolution of humanity and I want to support that evolution in anyway I can.   At the same time I find it just as important to bring the conversation around the divine masculine more into the light.

The ideas which are so pertinent and relevant to this conversation are the philosophies and archetypical descriptions presented by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette in their book, King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. Moore and Gillette present a jungian introduction to the evolving masculine.  We need to remember that men have been responsible for the industrial revolution, the suppression and maltreatment of women, the rape of the land through agriculture and bio-engineering, and the feminine got disgusted enough to start the feminist movement because they were not happy how men were exercising their immature masculine power. Homo-phobia is also a big area that needs to get addressed which keeps us separated from each other in a hierarchal structure.  It is my intention to help men take responsibility for the destructiveness of the immature masculine and help them evolve into the mature, divine masculine.

The evolution of the divine feminine has well taken off as we watch (and even hope for) Hillary Clinton decide to run for the US Presidency, Margaret C. Whitman as CEO of Hewlett Packard and even Drew Faust as President of Harvard.  What does that mean to the mature, divine masculine and how does it play out for the men on the planet?  How do men walk the path in their own mature divine masculine along side the women who are in their own divine feminine?  What is that going to look like?  This isn't about superiority or suppression, patriarchy or matriarchy, feminism or competition.  This is about finding balance and integration and polarity with the intent to best support each others' growth with love and compassion, with the good of the whole as the goal.  We need to become even more intimate with each other's challenges and suffering to witness the goodness that pours out of all of the pain so we evolve together. Change is happening and it's a new holy chapter in the human evolution. We all need to get on board!!

Since the invention of agriculture, the expansion of capitalism and the industrial revolution men have been in engaged in high degrees of forward movement (a masculine trait) and competition with each other to gather more food, money, land and therefore prestige (or a false sense thereof) due to their presumed success.  The good of the human collective ("inclusion" is a feminine trait) was hardly ever the main goal, mostly personal gain. Don't get me wrong, this was and still is a vital part of our human evolution, even today.  Since modern science and a technical world view has come onto the scene we have lost our contact with the great mystery of life and life's circumstances in exchange for something more tangible.  The fact still remains... our existence, life and death is the great mystery and there is no way around it.

As a result of all this forward technological movement, men have lost connection to ritual, ceremony and traditions.  Men are no longer hunting together for food in their tribes with the inclusive intention of feeding the tribe through the winter.  Right now men are sitting in their business circles with main objectives of making profit for themselves. All of this has left men with feelings of disconnection and isolation from their male counterparts.  First, we have lost the sacred space component of initiating boys into manhood for joining the military.  Second, wisdom from our elders have been lost because we are not hearing the stories from our forefathers being passed down to future generations of men in these sacred containers.

We have lost our connection with the land, with rituals and traditions that have been a long defining part of understanding what it means to be a man as nature, not separate from nature.  Men need to expand their understanding to the divine relationship to power, to sexuality, while living in life's mystery and all the while, supporting each other through this learning process.

Many of us seek the generative, affirming, and empowering father (though most of us don't know it), the father who, for most of us never existed in our actual lives and won't appear, no matter how hard we try to make him appear. We have lost connection with our ability to feel our deepest emotions of grief, sadness and shame along with the healthy ways of expressing them. Many boys are growing up with an absent father, not absent in the physical realm but, emotionally absent because we have not been taught to feel, only to suppress those feelings. "Stop your crying...big boys don't cry", is a common theme.

In order for a mature masculine to come into being there needs to be a death or a symbolic death and a re-birth, like the death of boyhood and a birth into manhood. Symbolic death is always a vital part of any initiatory ritual, the boy Ego must "die." The old ways of being and doing and thinking and feeling must ritually "die" before the new mature man can emerge and be born.  Effective, transformative initiation rituals/ceremonies does away with the Ego and its desires in its old form and resurrecting a new, subordinate relationship to a previously unknown and mysterious high divine power or God. The power of mature masculine energies always develops a new masculine personality that is marked by calm, compassion and clarity of vision.

We are right in the middle of a dilemma, lacking adequate role models of mature men, and in need of societal structures in conjunction with encouraging support systems for bringing about ritual processes.  Instead, sadly, it's ''every man for himself", and it is not sustainable anymore.  Most men will fall by the wayside, with no idea of what we are supposed to be doing as a man or what went wrong with our masculine desires. There is an underlying sense of anxiety, on the verge of feeling impotent, helpless, frustrated, put down, unloved and unappreciated, and often shame and insecurity of owning our strong, powerful, masculine energies. We can feel that our creativity is being attacked, that our initiative is met with hostility, that we are ignored, belittled, and not knowing how to transcend the past. So then we cave in to a brutally competitive world, making our work the highest priority while trying to keep our relationships afloat, always feeling like we are losing energy, or missing the mark and feeling isolated.

As I am a student of evolving human life's process, I believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's this good news for men (as well as women) that all we want to do is share the goodness for the benefit of everyone.

Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson on Grooveshark

Friday, August 22, 2014

A Walk In The Park....

Glorious days in Maine when the summer sunlight dims earlier in the day and makes the radiance of openness even more glorious.

It just wouldn't be the same without being greeted by the saucy Water-monkies in their chic hats.

Sexy summer garb donning all the beautiful people, appreciating being alive, the joys of the simplicities when automobile parking is a breeze :-)

Being served pleasure in service to the greatest becoming... madame sunset glaring through sunglasses making known the end of the day where our perspectives are demanded to shift.

The hint of a tilted smile spins the perfect beginning to the most attentively and appropriately planned, fashionably late, evening.

Fruits of the sea spread in ritz cracker irresistibility... a delicacy to all and nobody could ever disagree!!

Dusk falls upon the convergence of the Salmon and Cocheco in shades of orange and purple. Life is alive on the waterfront.

Ruthie Foster beckons as a detour from the perennial gardens that the beloved knows are some the beauties of the earth.

Strawberry Banke met Madame Gundalow this evening as a reminder of life's past and simpler ways of life... while the USS Miami screams from across the water telling us how far we've come... and how far we still need to go.  A soft whisper in the ear... "Balance", says Prescott P., revealing her sexy curves so very graciously,

at every step...
the brush-by of a new body...
the freshness of intrigue...
two left feet...
taking it all in...
the great mystery...
anything is possible!...
Do palms only meet upon contractual agreement?
Pinch me?...
Oh, wait just a minute...

The formal garden demands full attention with her choreography of water and colored light dancing with the birds in the pond.

Wisdom of ancient trees downloading valuable messages while God delivers an invitation to live your best life...

Love is all it is.  Love is all you are.